Sunday, June 6, 2010

yes, you're probably dreaming. its inception a new blog post update

hello!
sorry for not posting for a while but we were busy getting a life.
clearly we failed since we're back and blogging again. so without further ado...

to our dear 4 loyal blog followers .... hi (: thanks for following.
and we welcome a new blog follower into our cult tiny community! hello there :D

we know, it's been about a couple weeks, months, years.... hours *echo echo echo* since we last updated our blog blog blog blog *echo* and we apologise to the few people who actually read it. we were distracted by guys from a school, that shall not be named, but rhymes with box hammer tool.... *chromatic high* ( what we actually meant: knox grammer school.... *dramatic sigh*) oh the troubles of teenager chicks.

but now, we have something even more awesome to distract us and that would be the FIFA world cup! :D yes, hurray!!!
yeah it's been so long since we wrote this that the FIFA has passed. no one prollie even knows what it is anymore, they prollie can't even spell it!!

moving on...
recently, about a couple of months ago, we were given a task in commerce to write a letter to nadia, who had bought a new harry potter book online, outlining the problems she had encountered, steps she should have taken when shopping online and the possible means of redress. i know, we were thinking the same thing, let's say it all together now - yipeeeTHE FUCK?!!
anyway, here's what we came up with:

Dear Receiver,

My poor poor soul. You must be devastated that your book has not arrived. But I am not here to pass my condolences; no, I am here to tell you everything you have done wrong. Remember when you were 3 and you wet your pants. Yeah that’s right, I know everything. Yes, Nadia. I am GOD. Nadia *Nadia (echo)* walk into the light. Lemme lead you to your salvation LOL JK imma kill you!
Now what was the question you asked? The meaning of life? i get that a lot... OH RIGHT! Why you didn’t get the new harry potter book. uhm. well honestly, I really don’t have time for this nonsense. Percy Jackson just stole my lightning bolt that little bitch. But! I am God, and God is you. Together we are God and together we unite as one and fight.
Omgsh! look a fish. You looked didn’t you? Ahahaha boom boom.
Is it not obvious that 'USD' stands for 'Ukulele Sucks Dic...tators'. Maybe that's why your book did not come. It's because your postman was playing a Ukulele that Sucks his Dic....tators. JUSTIN BIEBER. AHAHAH RANDOM... err *awkward* sorry.

...'WHAT! Why aren't you opening the delivery box that says 'here are the explosives you wanted, with love from Iraq'!!! can you not tell it contains poptarts!!!'.
Oh sorry Nadia, I was eavesdropping on a convo in Paris. LMAO. BTW have you been watching the FIFA world cup? Have you seen number 20 of the netherlands. Man those guys, I just want to get in them.Well I am. because God is everyone. This means I am you. And those young, strapping dreamboats.

Now to overcome this situation I suggest meditating. Oh, did I say meditating? I mean HEAVY MEDICATION. I know someone, who knows a person, whose brother knows of a surgeon who knows a chick whose cousin knows a dude whose grandfather’s brother’s brother-in-law’s children’s friend’s brother - who has something that can really calm you down.
Now Nadia did I answer your question at all? And more importantly why have you bothered me with your problems I have dreams to be and plans to plant inception in some important guys mind so that Joseph Gordan-Levitt shall show up for some reason. Before you think of your problems maybe you’d like to ponder why does my Labrador puppy know how soft my toilet paper is? And who really kicked your dog?

You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip girl GOD

life lesson 6:dont learn life lessons from us

song of the day: brianstorm - arctic monkeys

pick up line of the day:baby i just wanna treat you like my homework, slam you on the table and do u all night

yours awesomely,
rara&gaga

Friday, April 30, 2010

God don't make no junk

a hoi hoi.
so, justin bieber's a dick. yeah, you heard it here first. he doesn't even deserve to have his name capitalised. who the hell has a concert public performance at sunrise on 'sunrise'? and then cancels it. or a better question is, who the hell goes to a justin bieber concert public performance at sunrise featured on 'sunrise'? not gabrielle.... *err loser* but seriously, we love justin bieber. what's that song he sings? yeah, baby. he does the rapping bit pretty well. oh, wait a moment... no he doesn't!! *boom-tish* you've been a great audience. good night San Diego.
speaking of hot guys *shady look*, we've composed (another) list. this time about hot guy names. its scientifically proven. we did the fair testing thing.... thing. that means looking for hot guys' names, right? well, thats what we did.
    1. logan. an obvious example below. i mean check out that guitar. its either a fender or a gibson.


    2. jack. holy moly... just look at that package. isnt that the most awesome guitar you've ever seen?

    3. hayden. well, you know. just imagine her as a hot guy. with a guitar.



righteos......
embrace your inner brian mcfadden (uhmm) and check out some ZANZAN sunnies. theyre uber awesome. do yourself a favour and click on this: http://www.zanzan.co.uk/ (they play super cool music on the site too)



we're loving the 'le sept' and 'rubirosa' styles. unfortunately they exceed our disposable income. yes, we've been studying our commerce.

**

how to know your parents are bona fide asians

  • they dont let you have sex til 42
  • no dating til your 40
  • no marrying fly white guys, only asians or at least half asians
  • no going out until you've finshed all homework and study your textbook a couple times
  • you can find them at the freebies section
  • they make you eat rice for breakfast, lunch and tea
  • they make you get a bad hair cut for cheap
  • they make you go to tutoring from yr 1
  • they expect you to become a doctor
  • they expect you to marry a doctor
  • they try setting you up with a nice asian man whose rich (and is a doctor)
  • you're expected to get an average of 98% in a test
  • your social hangout is the library
  • you live in hurstville or bankstown
  • they only let you buy items that are on sale
  • you're forced to play the piano or the violin

pickup line of the day: hey draco, your bed looks comfy. do you mind if i 'slytherin'?

song of the day: D.A.N.C.E -justice

life lesson 5: god dont make no junk

yours awesomely and shout out to Big Mak: happy birthday!

rara&gaga(:

Sunday, April 11, 2010

stuff to do when you're bored.


hi. it has come to our attention that holidays are boring. so we have composed a free list of things to occupy yourself with this vacation and how long it will take to do them:



  • look up the definition of bored with your friends in the macquarie, oxford, mariam-webster, your mum's, your dad's dictionary, dictionary.com, encarter, encyclopedia. etc... then gather your friends around and discuss,as one, the true meaning of bored. (2 hours)
  • set fire to your enemies and their precious items. you'll be called a hero.(59 mins)
  • love your enemies. its what God tells.(0 mins)
  • go outside.(1 min)
  • vacuum your lawn (23 hours)
  • do an assignment that wasnt even assigned. you'll get extra credit from us.(40mins)
  • chug 5 litres of coke (20 mins including vomiting time)
  • compose your own list of things to do when your bored (40 days and 40 nights)
  • start a cult (1 min)
  • go to church for once (1 hour)
  • drive a golfbuggy or a segway or a hovercraft (30 mins)
  • play hopsotch (2 hours)
  • break a guiness world record (2 years)
  • arrange your carebears in rainbow order (5 mins)
  • play all the songs on guitar hero on extreme. (not long)

and if you're really desperate and sad, write a blog (1 min-infinity).

total time: 2 weeks

latest news

alot of stuff happening this month, what with rachel getting pregnant and gabrielle arrested for selling drugs holidays and all. we want to know what you guys have been doing and if you have any ideas for what to do when ur bored. leave us a comment and we'll check it out.
  • if you've been following so think you can dance aus you'd know that nick *cue swooning* got out.... oh and jess. now the top four are ivy, phillipe D<, jessie and ROBBIE! theres only one more ep til the grand final! fingers-crossed... for ur favourite to win. leave us a comment to tell us who you want to win this year.
  • now, we recently got guitar hero 5 and its awesome. its the ish (y). u shud get it. it features songs such as the rock show by blink 182, sex on fire by kings of leon and smells like teen spirit by nirvana.
  • a while ago, lady gaga's telephone vid ft. beyonce came out. it is also the ish. its an... interesting shortfilm. uhmm it can also be called... free porn. enough said http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVBsypHzF3U&feature=fvst
  • kate nash (awesome ranga chick) has a new album coming out on april 20 called my best friend is you. and the best thing about it is that there is a song called 'i hate seagulls'. watch out for it, it will probably be good. everything she sings is good :D
  • movies to watch: kick ass, how to train your dragon, date night, nanny mcphee and the big bang. dont take ur children to any of these movies, they're pretty violent... especially nanny mcphee and their dancing pigs. what were they thinking, we had nightmares for days.

oh god, longest post ever out of the three we've done. why do we even bother, no one reads this.

here's your free item this week: a feel-good song to clap to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra8VTlXVqUQ

pick up line of the day: you'll do.

life lesson 3: for your safety, stay away from dancing pigs

life lesson 4: dont hunch over your laptop writing your blog for an hour. it hurts.

yours awesomely and happy late easter,

rara&gaga (:

Friday, March 12, 2010

hoedown throwdown motown showdown

so, we were talking in the computer room in french today. here’s how it went:
rara: oi!! (not actually french) la bitche!! (not actually french either) stop typing pénis enlargéments into googlé search engine (most likely not french either).
gabba: (gives rara the middle digit and starts singing art vs. science song) parlez vous francais!! parlez vous francais!! (actual french for 'do you speak french?')
rara: tu es tres tres moche moche moche!!! (actual french for 'you are very very awful, awful, awful!!!')
what happened next was so moche that rara let out an involuntary yelp. yeah, that’s right. gabba started dancing to ‘single ladies’. then she slapped rara. and that is how the hoedown throwdown motown showdown began.

hoedown throwdown motown showdown: –noun
1. a community dancing party featuring folk and square dances accompanied by lively hillbilly tunes played on the fiddle whilst making a fall in wrestling, indicating defeat during an upbeat style of rhythm and blues associated with the city of Detroit and with numerous back vocalists and doing danceable arrangements and finally becomes a conclusive settlement of an issue, difference, etc., in which all resources, power, or the like, are used (don't worry, we didn't get it either).
2. a series of hannah montana meets wwe meets westside story wars where the winner gets a life of ease and loser gets death.

life lesson 2: don’t try the ‘single ladies’ dance unless you are Beyonce herself (for fear of being called awful in french)

pick up line of the day: so, you’re a girl, huh? (thanks lucy)

can’t be bothered getting drunk at a pub? Do it at home....with muffins. For all you fly mothers out there try this free recipe given to you from our free link. http://www.justmuffinrecipes.com/muf-0147251.html

news on new music and fashion coming up soon.

yours awesomely and have a lovely crazy hair day and donate to the leukaemia foundation,
rara&gaga

Friday, March 5, 2010

bienvenue

have u ever tried to look for a blog that gave away free chupa chups? well starting from today... there still won't be, but we'll try our best and give you free images of chupa chups --->https://www.buyflower.com.sg/main/images/BF1334E_Add-On_Chupa_Chups.jpg.
welcome to rachel and gabrielle's free blog but we'll let you call it rara&gaga's blog for free. its called arsenic with eggs. we specialize in penis enlargements everything! its anything you want it to be.
we're nouvelle (it means new in french ;D), please go easy on us. constructive critisism is welcome though.
we're pretty thoughtful too. we help the needy with pick up lines ;) here's to the new era of courting! but seriously, we were gonna do clean up australia day but we didnt have a car... yeeaah ecofriendly much! but yeah we still didnt walk. it was too far. we only thought of taking the train now. but it isnt safe to take the train.
life lesson 1: dont take the train without parental supervision. its not safe. u heard it here first.
pick up line of the day: are you a parking ticket? cause u got fine written all over you.

hope you're still around to read our blog for the next couple of years. if we're still around.
yours awesomely,
rara&gaga.